Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

Having A Party Without Me...


A slightly different take on music reviewing. Don't take anything you read here too seriously.

Still Corners, Kraak Gallery, Manchester 03/02/12

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I like Kraak Gallery. I have also been known to like cinematic dream pop on occasion too. So seeing Still Corners at Kraak had all the hallmarks of being a good gig.  Even if there was no Oranjeboom on sale that night.

 
The Steals (or two of The Steals anyway -  Jayn Hanna and Daniel Land) warmed the crowd up nicely on this freezing February evening with some hauntingly beautiful songs. Daniel Land is a disgustingly talented musician, and those who only know him for his bass playing for The Engineers should definitely check out his work with the Modern Painters, Riverrun and The Steals. It was a shame that there was only a smattering of people there to see them.

For Still Corners I was right near the front, something that doesn’t happen for me too often at gigs anymore. You’d think that the people who make the effort to force there way down there might either be the smallest or the ones who really want to hear the band, right?

Not tonight.

I was stood in front of the tallest man in the known universe. He was about 15ft 2 inches tall. I thought he’d found himself an equally freakish tall girlfriend as well until I realised she’d had to stack 4 chairs one on top of each other and clamber up them to even get close to him.

And then they talked. They talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked and talked over every song. And it wasn’t like they were talking about anything important. At one point girlfriend asked 17 foot boyfriend what his favourite Beatles song is. Well, not so much asked as bellowed it out so that anyone within a 2 mile radius of Stevenson Square would have heard her.

What. Is. Your. Favourite. Beatles. Song.

FUCK OFF.

Still Corners endeared themselves  to the crowd by revealing that Manchester is Texan Greg Hughes favourite city. It is not Still Corners singer Tessa Murray’s favourite city, but then again it’s not my favourite city either and I live here, so I’ll let her off.
They played most of their album ‘Creatures of an Hour’ in front of an light show of films that perfectly suited their sound. It was hard not to like it.

Unless you’re a 19ft tall man and his girlfriend. Oh well.


The Steals website

Still Corners website

Hobby’s photographs of Still Corners

 

 

Ninetails - 'Rawdon Fever'

I’d love to have nine tails. It would be great.  I could have tails that fulfilled my every need.

Now, now, don’t be dirty minded. I can already hear from the giggling at the back of the room what kind of tails you’d have to fulfil your every need. Perverts.

I’d have the tail of a Capuchin monkey. Because, let’s face it, who DOESN’T want a prehensile tail and all the fun that offers? It’d have to be longer then a normal Capuchin monkey tail though. I don’t want to look ridiculous.

I’d have a tail that looked like a penis, but in reality was just a vegetable that looked like a penis, like what you used to see on That’s Life. It would shock you and then make you laugh and would be an excellent ice-breaker at parties, because I am notoriously shit at small talk.

I’d have a tail with the head of Oates from Hall and Oates, but I wouldn’t let him sing. If I’m tired I might let him gently brush his big 80’s ‘tache against my face for a few seconds to help me sleep, but that’s all. Other than that I’d gently chide him for not being as good as his brother Randy Oates.

I’d have 3 tails that had the big 8-bit computers of the 1980s, the Commodore 64, Amstrad CPC464 and Spectrum 48k attached. The C64 would be the best of those tails, naturally, and anyone who disagrees can piss off.

I’d have a tail that has a book attached with loads of salacious stories about celebrities that you’re not really supposed to repeat, like that one about Joanna Lumley and how her bum is now made of plastic.

I’d have a tail with a speaker on that plays the incidental music to Carry On Camping on demand, because it’s playing in my head 90% of the time anyway.

And finally I’d have a tail with nine more tails sprouting out of it. Because I’m greedy.

Hold on.  I’m sure I was supposed to be telling you about something...

Oh yes - ‘Rawdon Fever’, the new single by Liverpool band Ninetails is imminently to be released by the wonderful Super Star Destroyer Records. If you don’t know who they are you need to find out now because otherwise we can’t be friends anymore. You can see the video for Rawdon Fever up above all this writing. You probably already watched it before you read this. If you didn’t go and do that. It’s very good. Look carefully and you’ll see Cliff Richard makes an appearance.

There’s also a  Remix competition so that you - yes YOU - might get your remix on the B-side. But you better hurry up as the closing date is 19th February.

Here's where you can buy Ninetails first EP 'Ghost Ride the Whip' so you can stuff more tunes into your hungry ears.

And here is the home of  Super Star Destroyer records on the web.

 

Peaking Lights & Hookworms, Deaf Institue Manchester, 10/12/11

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I have wasted your time.

I have wasted your time because the joke in the picture ONLY WORKS IF THE BAND WAS CALLED PEEKING LIGHTS. But they are not. They are called PEAKING Lights.

So, as I said, I have wasted your time.

I'm sorry.

Anyways, Peaking Lights. You can read Peter Rea's review on Silent Radio here for an excellent description of the gig...in a minute...wait...come back...I haven't finished here...

What you should also know is this:

- Peaking Lights were brilliant, despite some VERY abrupt endings.
- A man who had really bad wind stood in front of me briefly but then disappeared. Hopefully to change his trousers.
-  One really annoying bloke pulled out his best Bez on Diazapam dance moves and sucked his cheeks in so far his face was almost inside out.

I'd well recommend checking out Hookworms too, they were great. Like a psych bastard offspring of the Stooges and The Fall crossed with the sound of two tramps fighting over the last bottle of White Ace.

Peaking Lights

Hookworms

 

Silver Apples, Manchester Night & Day Cafe 26/10/11...

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I'm putting this up a month late because I've been really busy trying to write the 1st draft of a novel.
Excuses, excuses, I know. Anyways, the gig was brilliant and you can read a lot of good reviews about it elsewhere. Like here for instance.

Now, I have never managed to do a wee that smells like Ready Brek. But when I sneaked off for a mid-set slash another bloke followed me into the toilets and proceeded to do just that. Suppose it's better than the smell asparagus wee makes. But still as off-putting.

(For younger readers, that is the Ready Brek glow around a penis in the picture above. YouTube it).

Well, we nearly won...

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"Immensely Entertaining" - Kate Feld, Manchester Blog Awards founding director*

Hey all.

The Manchester Blog Awards 2011 awards event was held on 19th October, and I'm very happy to tell you that 'Having A Party Without Me' came a not-at-all-shabby Runner Up in the Best New Blog Catagory.

The title of Best New Blog was stolen from me by went to Screen150, so go and check it out.

While you're at it, if you haven't had a chance to look at all the shortlisted blogs for 2011 they can still be found on the Manchester Blog Awards website. You should also have a look at The Real Story, a celebration of creative nonfiction which was also launched on the same evening as the Blog Awards. 

Myself and Randy Oates, wastrel brother of 80's pop sensation John Oates, would like to thank everyone who's read this over the past 12 months, and to those of you who voted for my silly little pictures. There's more to come.

Pete

*PS Sorry Kate if you're reading, that was too good a quote not to use!

The Horrors & The Kills, Warehouse Project, Manchester 15/10/11...

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A good gig review should, I think, make you feel like you were actually there even if you weren’t lucky enough to be.

So stick on a The Kills or Horrors album (2nd or 3rd LPs only, they didn’t bother playing any songs from the 1st) and feast your eyes on the picture above for a few minutes, before imagining turning 180 degrees to look at stage a mile in the distance.

Then imagine getting pushed out of the way. Over and over and over again.

Never before have so many men pushed, pulled and dry humped their way past others. If I get bruises at a gig normally it’s because I’ve been jumping about down the front (not too common these days, unfortunately), but at the Warehouse Project that night it was because I’d been barged in the back too many times purely for the crime of wanting to stand and watch some bands.

I did learn something useful that night though: should a woman wander into the men’s toilets she can simply hold a can of £3.80 Budweiser in the air and shout “Sorry! Thought this was the ladies!” and completely ignore the ridiculous sight of men stood facing each other around plastic buckets masquerading as urinals while their silly, flaccid cocks spray merrily away.

It was the only place I didn’t get pushed in the back though.

 

 

You have 4 minutes & 20 seconds to knock one out...

If you're the kind of weirdo whose particular predilection is to listen to songs about heroin addicted prostitutes while staring into the eyes of young actresses then I have some GREAT NEWS for you: Your niche interest has been catered for on YouTube.

Now you can listen to 'A-Team' by Ed Sheeran - the failed "Britannia High" auditioning, pubeless ginger-faced pusher of ever-so-earnest, coma inducing, bed wetting singer-songwriter tripe -  while at the same time looking creepily at a never changing picture of Emma Watson (who is neither a prostitute or heroin addict to my knowledge).

If that doesn’t make your pants tingle then you are dead from the waist down*.

* Or completely normal. Well done.

Terrible Band Photos, part three...

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Emerson, Lake & Palmer from The Emerson, Lake & Palmer Band know what you want.

You want to see some Hot Prog Cock.

But they're not just going to give it up for you. Oh no. The ELP lads are going to tease you by showing a bit of pube and putting their hands in the way.

Rumour has it that if you play the entirety of the “Love Beach” album backwards 3 times whilst staring at this picture then they give you a knowing wink and a flash, but who in all honesty has actually managed to listen to that album properly all the way through once?

And what's this? Emerson (left) has his wood touching wood. Who let this man sit there without a towel? The imprint left by his sweaty balls was carefully vacuum packed into a handy container and sits like a holy relic on the mantelpiece of ELPs biggest fan, who stares at them each night and imagines what it would be like to have Keith Emerson's pendulous knackers instead of his own. Why don't you close your eyes and imagine the same thing? Think about Emerson's relaxed scrotum nestling like a small woodland animal between your legs, pressed against warm, inviting wood. Mmmmmm.

Sleep well readers. Sleep well*.

 

*I am not responsible for any dreams of ELP widge you may have.

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