Randy Oates Reviews: Kisses - "Heart of the Nightlife"...
I’m busy, so I thought I’d hand over the reviewing duties to someone who...well, he’s not exactly a friend. I met him early one Saturday morning in Manchester City Centre, looking very rough, miserable and red-eyed, and obviously still drunk. He told me he’d been thrown out of every bar he’d been in that night. I felt a bit sorry for him, until I found out he’d been kicked out of every bar because he had been whipping off his trousers (he had worn his stripper pants) and shouting at all the ladies "Come get your Oates!". I tried to get away from him, but somehow he tracked me down and every so often he turns up on my doorstep with a copy of Hall & Oates H2O stuffed under his arm, sobbing about how “it should have been me”.
This man is Randy Oates, brother of Oates. From Hall & Oates.
Anyway, as is my luck, this week he appeared just as I was about to listen to the new album by Kisses. I thought it would be nice for him to listen to some new music rather than pretend that he should have been the Oates out of Hall & Oates instead of his brother. I made a mistake:
Oates: What are you doing?Me: I’m listening to the debut album by Kisses, “The Heart of the Nightlife”. I was going to review it. Maybe you’d like to instead?Oates: Erm...alright. I will. It won’t be anything like Rock & Soul Part 1 though will it? Me: (mumbling) I really hope not.
Me: What did you reckon then Oates?Oates: Not really my thing. But since you’re asking, I’d describe it as feelgood day glo-pop. Some catchy melodies, pastiche disco beats and lovely synth washes, but as it goes on each song starts to resemble others on the album and occasionally you want the tempo to pick up slightly. I would hope that they will be more ambitious on their second album, but this is still an enjoyable debut. In particular the opening triplet of “Kisses”, “Bermuda” & “People Can Do the Most Amazing Things” is very impressive. It’s a shame that this strong start isn't maintained throughout.Me: (astonished) That is the most sense you have ever made to me, Oates.Oates: I like the look of the girl too. She’s nice. I’d like her to gently muzzle against my moustache, and maybe gently kiss and nibble on it. Mmmmmmm.Oates shuffles in his chairMe: Hands where I can see them Oates!
Oates’s mood takes a sudden and unexpected downwards swing during this songOates: I’m bored now.Me: Come on Oates, make an effort.Oates: It all sounds the same to me. Get me a drink!
Me: Oates, will you just calm down. I’m enjoying this and you’re ruining it.Oates: Sorry. Sorry. I’m just in need of some alcohol. I do like it the album though. I especially like that one where he sings that he’ll take me for a nice steak dinner (“Midnight Lover”). I’d like it if he did that with me. I’d enjoy my steak and I’d look lovingly into his eyes. Of course, I’d make him wear a big blonde mullet wig so he could look like Daryl Hall. But it’d still like it.Oates jumps excitedly to his to his feet and whips off his stripper pants.Oates: Wooooooo! Yeah, having a steak with Jesse Kivel dressed as Daryl Hall. That would be fucking great!Me: Er...why are you wearing stripper pants again Oates?Oates: I don’t own any other kind of trousers. You never know when you might meet a lady who’s hot for a bit of this 80’s pop-rock star.Me: You’re not a 80’s pop-rock star. Your brother was. You look like a cross between him and Ron Jeremy after a 3 week meth binge.Oates rips open his shirt, revealing chest hair sculpted into an exact replica of his brothers 80’s heyday moustache.Me: Fuck off Oates.
Kisses Myspace
This man is Randy Oates, brother of Oates. From Hall & Oates.
Anyway, as is my luck, this week he appeared just as I was about to listen to the new album by Kisses. I thought it would be nice for him to listen to some new music rather than pretend that he should have been the Oates out of Hall & Oates instead of his brother. I made a mistake:
Oates: What are you doing?Me: I’m listening to the debut album by Kisses, “The Heart of the Nightlife”. I was going to review it. Maybe you’d like to instead?Oates: Erm...alright. I will. It won’t be anything like Rock & Soul Part 1 though will it? Me: (mumbling) I really hope not.
Me: What did you reckon then Oates?Oates: Not really my thing. But since you’re asking, I’d describe it as feelgood day glo-pop. Some catchy melodies, pastiche disco beats and lovely synth washes, but as it goes on each song starts to resemble others on the album and occasionally you want the tempo to pick up slightly. I would hope that they will be more ambitious on their second album, but this is still an enjoyable debut. In particular the opening triplet of “Kisses”, “Bermuda” & “People Can Do the Most Amazing Things” is very impressive. It’s a shame that this strong start isn't maintained throughout.Me: (astonished) That is the most sense you have ever made to me, Oates.Oates: I like the look of the girl too. She’s nice. I’d like her to gently muzzle against my moustache, and maybe gently kiss and nibble on it. Mmmmmmm.Oates shuffles in his chairMe: Hands where I can see them Oates!
Oates’s mood takes a sudden and unexpected downwards swing during this songOates: I’m bored now.Me: Come on Oates, make an effort.Oates: It all sounds the same to me. Get me a drink!
Me: Oates, will you just calm down. I’m enjoying this and you’re ruining it.Oates: Sorry. Sorry. I’m just in need of some alcohol. I do like it the album though. I especially like that one where he sings that he’ll take me for a nice steak dinner (“Midnight Lover”). I’d like it if he did that with me. I’d enjoy my steak and I’d look lovingly into his eyes. Of course, I’d make him wear a big blonde mullet wig so he could look like Daryl Hall. But it’d still like it.Oates jumps excitedly to his to his feet and whips off his stripper pants.Oates: Wooooooo! Yeah, having a steak with Jesse Kivel dressed as Daryl Hall. That would be fucking great!Me: Er...why are you wearing stripper pants again Oates?Oates: I don’t own any other kind of trousers. You never know when you might meet a lady who’s hot for a bit of this 80’s pop-rock star.Me: You’re not a 80’s pop-rock star. Your brother was. You look like a cross between him and Ron Jeremy after a 3 week meth binge.Oates rips open his shirt, revealing chest hair sculpted into an exact replica of his brothers 80’s heyday moustache.Me: Fuck off Oates.
Kisses Myspace
