But prog and Christmas Songs?  Can any good come of these two things hideously mating and spitting out their festive progeny?

Well...no...

Jon Anderson - “3 Ships”.

So, here’s Jon Anderson from Yes floating in a space ship so tiny he has to chop off his legs to get into it.  There’s no room for a toilet, so what does Jon Anderson from Yes do when he’s on a long inter-galactic journey?  And how does he sleep?  If he’s just propped up against a chair with his dismembered legs legs lying on the floor next to him while he floats from system to system then he’ll get terrible back ache.  I think you’ve been sold a very duff space ship there Jon Anderson from off of the band Yes.

Thankfully for him he gets his legs back just in time to help a bunch of people you’d want to punch in the face decorate a tree.  In fact, you’ll barely notice the music when you watch this video.  It’s got everything.  Jon “From Yes” Anderson’s awful trousers. A Benny Hill style Santa chase.  A brief shot of what looks like a kid drinking some whisky.  A hilarious fake snowball fight, using snowballs kept in a fridge.   And a bunch of other stuff that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.  

Poor show Jon Anderson from Yes. Poor show.

Watch it.  WATCH IT NOW WITH YOUR EYES.  You deserve it.

Greg Lake - “I Believe in Father Christmas”

Might be cheating a bit, as this is a very well known Christmas hit.  But it’s Greg Lake.  He was in King Crimson. And ELP.  You don’t get much more prog than Greg Lake, or as his friends like to call him, Greg Lake from King Crimson and ELP and Asia for one gig.  So I should probably include it...

I wish I hadn’t included it now.  It’s shit.  Greg Lake from out of the groups King Crimson and ELP and Emerson Lake & Powell would disagree with me though - he’s re-recorded it a further 3 times.  Step away from the song Lake, step away.

Jethro Tull- “Ring Out Solstice Bells”.

Whoa.  Here’s an insane looking Ian Anderson with a jaunty hat and his flute.  I’m not going to make jokes about where can stick it like you might expect me too.  Perhaps you’re disappointed by that, but I won’t dance for you just when you demand me to.  I’m not your performing monkey.  Skip forward to the Styx review if you want some unnecessary rudeness.

If you made it to the end of that video I have complete admiration for you.  In fact, if you made it past 47 seconds you’re a better person than me.

Styx - “All I Want for Christmas”

Some light relief from the insanity of the Jon Anderson (from Yes) video, Styx have just gone for a straight forward “band playing the song live” affair.

And do you know what,  this song certainly has me believing that Father Christmas has come to visit me and well and truly emptied his sack.  His colostomy sack.  He’s opened it wide and poured all his faeces and flatus straight into my ears whilst smiling that beardy, rosy cheeked shit-eating grin of his.  The cunt.

More of this to come in the next few days.  Bet you can’t flipping wait.